1. i don’t give a fuck about what paul mooney, al sharpton, and oprah decided; i shall use the word nigga and its derivatives as much as i desire. (if you gotta problem, tell it to my 9…bitch)
2. swag is not an all purpose word. swag, aka swagger, is a word to describe how you carry yourself on a day to day basis (and even that may not be totally true). swag, however, has been overused by the public for the past two years or so. swagger is the name of a fuckin old spice deodorant…which means that the word itself needs to be retired until 2014, when niggas can bring it back as a throwback word. i don’t wanna hear about you swag surfin (still love the song tho), your swag auto starting, turning your swag on, being swagtastic, swagtacular, swaggerific, swagg’d up, swagg’d out, supercalifragilisticexpiswagalicious, etc.
3. on a related note, if a song mentions any of these “swag” terms, i will happily act an ass to it (ex. swag surfin). yes i am a hypocrite, but i can do that because my swag is the greatest in all the land.
4. on a semi-related note, feel free to come up with random ass words that are not in the dictionary…sometimes you have to be proactive. if some niggas are really actin like they just got off the plantation, its alright to call them coontastic…or sambolicious…or so forth. (this applies to all words, not just adjectives describing niggerish actions.)
5. if you don’t make sense in everyday conversation, why in the hell would you speak in public unless you wanna get laughed at. this phenomenon (as well as people who can’t sing but sing in public, or people who can’t dance but dance in public) has made it very difficult for me to keep a straight face at school, work, and even church. especially church. so for your own sake and for my salvation’s sake, just don’t do it.
6. i appreciate if somebody enjoys a word or phrase that i say, or how i say it. if you happen to repeat or mock me, i will laugh because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. but don’t use the same fuckin phrase all the fuckin time til i don’t even wanna say it anymore. that shit is annoying. everything is better in moderation (even sex).
7. if your voice is annoying…chill out on the talking tip. same goes for laughter…you can laugh just make it silent or something.
8. as always...even if i break my own rules it doesn't matter, because whatever i say goes. i'm robert kinsey gotdamn.
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